"I always play with you,
But I feel it to be true.
You were born from the sun’s honey.
A Sun Child— a goddess that roams earth with a sense of your connection to the Most’s divinity. That your presence can heal and set souls ablaze. With a glow that shines through my darkest corners. I am my brightest with you, as you show me the faults I once believed in were hidden prisms, just needing a light to rouse their potential."
"I’m losing grip of this rope they told to me climb. “To be happy”, they say, “is to not be negative”. But I can’t help this helpless feeling that I’m not all right. I can’t help that I feel all things. And as this proverbial rope belies my confidence, I can’t help but feel helpless; I’m losing my grip."
"Helpless", Dae Lee (Daeizm)
— [inspired by the word given to me by Nae Lee; a part of my mini-project #WordsFromSouls]
Maybe I’ve misunderstood my lesson.
The sense of hope has gone to fray with tattered faith leaving pieces of my flaws exposed; unguarded.
Maybe my loss of vision on this journey has me circling old failures like vultures over a fleeting corpse.
Maybe these mountains have grown taller, eclipsing what once felt in grip’s reach.
Or maybe the loss of purpose has my will burning beneath rays of judgment. It always seemed that the sun mocked me for believing my light could rival his.
Why does defeat feel more familiar? Like echoes of a past that resurfaces at your most vulnerable? Or the taste of the salt in your own sweat, cascading down your face in angst. How much longer must I climb before I find myself at the feet of victory?
Perhaps I’ve forgotten the motions. That I understood this before my heels settled on this obstacle…that there will be times that I will have a loss of gumption, determination, reason to keep climbing. But these mountains are not here to hinder me — yet, to strengthen me. And my light will rival the sun’s, if I keep on.